|Saturday, April 14th, 2007|
ok so i'm pruning all of the crap out of this community then locking it for posterity
it is one of the best communities in livejournal history and should be remembered as such, not as a ghost town
anything especially hilareous will be accepted
i'd like to thank all of the hacks for being so sexy with props to pete cashmore for being a wrongun, barry for being sassy and ak for pandering to all of our whims
thank you and goodnight
|Monday, August 28th, 2006|
From the NME Reading Festival blog...
While everyone in the NME cabin is talking about which two male members of NME tangled tongues in the hotel last night, the real action continues on site.
Omglol?! Speculation on hack identities now plz, ladies.
|Wednesday, April 12th, 2006|
prompted me to action, as sleepingwithnme
has been a bit dead of late and this, I am sure, makes us deeply unhappy in our little commie hearts.
Sewwwww, I decided to give you an email to INSPIRE YOU, k!Hello
I hope you're good. I'm e-mailing randomly to ask for help...
In what may be the strangest e-mail I've ever sent, I am asking for
your aid in finding a carpenter. I've just bought a flat in Clapton
and need a wooden floor laid. In an attempt to avoid getting ripped
off, I thought I'd drop you a line to see if you knew of a quality
craftsman in London at a reasonable price.
Insert own joke about The Carpenters/getting laid/wood trouble or Jesus here.
I smell fic opportunities, laydeez, oh yes! Imran/hack of choice play THE PRINCESS AND THE HANDSOME CARPENTER TYPE MAN? Imran/Jesus?!perhaps we should simply suggest to other superbuffeting hacks that they set up shop in Clapton as handymen? (GET IT!?!!!)
OK so I know I've been totally ~lax~ not updating all you people to hot ho akshun witnessed in the pages of NME but today I just CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF, OMGGGGG!!
THERE IS A PROPER PICTURE OF PETER ROBINSON! A PROPER PICTURE! OMG LIKE A PHOTO THAT HASN'T BEEN MADE ALL EMO IN PHOTOSHOP! OMGOGMOGMGMGGG!!!
"THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN SLEEPINGWITHNME HISTORY!"
Obviously I would post this superbuff thing of beauty but alas today tragedy struck when I... I...*sob*... LEFT MY NME IN THE CHANGING ROOMS IN TOPSHOP!!!1!!!!1 ;________;;;;;;;; Godz I will pretty much never forgive myself. I'm going to buy another one tomorrow though, so don't worry!
Lots of love,
Becci (aka. accordingtobex)
P.S Buttz. Current Mood: ZOMG
|Sunday, April 2nd, 2006|
|Tuesday, March 28th, 2006|
|Thursday, March 16th, 2006|
One from the old archive, NME's weapon of mass distraction...
Little known facts are that the ladies favorite journo has visited every station on the London Underground...for no apparent reason! Can play a mean piano whilst completely shitfaced and has the hardest punch of any 9 stone man i've met...don't mess!
|Tuesday, March 7th, 2006|
Peter Robinson sure is clever
when he dresses in drag, we call him Heather
It was on a such a night,
that I caught the awful sight -
Of Conor making out with a skirt.
ick! het sex, what a fright!
Wrong! Thank Moz, my nerves were appeased
It was just ol' Peter in lacy knickers,
what a tease!
With his stockings bunched up,
Conor pushed him to his knees
"Suck it properly, you dirty slag.
Or you'll never write another review for my mag!"
was spread out wanton
on the futon
|Friday, February 24th, 2006|
"The great thing about the Arctic Monkeys is they are doing something nobody else has done. They have a depth to their lyrics that no-one else has."
lol shut up, Conor. Quit bumming them already.
|Thursday, February 23rd, 2006|
hahah oh lolz!
and yes, tizzoast
, i did put yr name on it!
|Thursday, July 20th, 2006|
|Thursday, February 9th, 2006|
So guys! Remember this? In spirit of setting nme a good example that promises need to be kept kthnx! The time has come for personalised hack/crack-ety headgiving slash for journo monkey-spanking purposes. I'll take Spoonboy, fight over the rest among yourselves. And post the results here! Some kind of prize for the best... might be thought up if I have the time.
GO GO GO!!!!
|Sunday, February 5th, 2006|
Preface: This Play in One Act was written in response to the promised picture of Pete and Carl kissing with tongues. It is a historical play.Dramatis Personae
The NME: a cocktease.
The readers: my flist, fangirls, slashers, Pete Doherty, Carl Barat, Bret 'the hit man' Hart, Sylvester Stallone, Benny Goodman.
Readers: Oh NME! You are but a fickle mistress.
The NME: /licks something suggestively, but goes no further/finis
|Friday, February 3rd, 2006|
Imran pressed refresh exasperatedly on his browser, his
plan had failed. It had been foolproof as well, reaching out to the
fangirls had elevated Pete Cashmore to community sex symbol status but
it had been almost 48 hours since he had emailed several fan girls
offering smutty polaroids of him and Barry Nicolson at it in the stock
cupboard and there had been NO slash fic written about him at all! It
had been a bad year for Imran on sleepingwithnme, first catchy_tunes
had forsaken him for Dan Martin, an innocent act on Kaspers behalf that
had resulted in months of expensive therapy for Imran and to top it all
off he had been voted Villain of the Year in the awards all of the
hacks cared about the most. Imran sighed and put his head in his hands,
and then went and had sex with Mark Beaumont to make himself feel
|Wednesday, February 1st, 2006|
|Tuesday, January 31st, 2006|
everyone's favourite slag, accordingtobex
, told me to post this, so:
|Friday, January 27th, 2006|
omg whoever runs the nme myspace has some srs ~*~anger issues*~*~!
|Thursday, January 26th, 2006|
Does anyone know why this community was originally created?! This is not a rhetorical question!
*despairs at loss of original meaning in this community*
I shall avenge The Spoonface!
Oh yes....!!!!!!!! Current Mood: disappointed
|Wednesday, January 25th, 2006|
OK so on this weeks letter page...
"OMG! I met Mark Beaumont! And he's actually quite dashing in real life!"
accordingtobex , via email.
WTF?! I DON'T REMEMBER SENDING THAT EMAIL, AS SUCH!
LOL well ~*~*apparently*~*~ I don't even have to bother sending spazzy emails to the NME anymore (which will save me approx 5 hours a day, thnx hax!) all I have to do is post it here and the hacks are like WOAH!
Sew! Bearing this in mind, here are a few emails I didn't send to the NME today because I was far too busy dying of lolz at Pete Cashmores amazing pandering to the fan girlz! Ilu Cashmore, you ARE the hottest hack I've ever seen!
( ClickethCollapse )
|Monday, January 23rd, 2006|
Because this deserves a post of its own...
One day while I was chilling at the NME
They said, "Pete Cashmore, come and get it on with we"
So I said, "Okay, but first you put some porn on"
And then I got jiggy with Anthony Thorn-ton
Pat Long's fat dong elicited moans
And then I got my fuck on with the man Tim Jonze
Next up, I reviewed Beaumont's 7-inch single
And then me and Alex Needham's phallics did mingle
Next I nailed Malik Meer, then with Dan Silver got queer
Then staff writer Dan Martin got staff right in the rear
Krissi Murison and Cat Goodwin put on a show for the team
Barry Nicolson (with no knickers on) started to cream
Next my boner hit Conor and his sec Karen Walter
His sex was kinda wack but I really couldn't fault her
Andrew Kendall went mental when me and Imran bumped nubs
And then I fucked the picture desk, the arts desk and the subs
(And then accountant Stuart Stubbs)
And then I splashed Rich Pelley on the belly
Kept my dick up so I could stick up Dele Fadele
Hit Paul Moody in the booty then James Jam took a slam
Then gave Ben Perreau a blow on the NME webcam
And after all that, could I have had some more sex?
Well, I'll tell you when I hook up with Accordingtobex
And that's word.
Pete Cashmore (Poet Laureate)
Current Mood: aaarrrggghh